Our Marriage Has Been A Series Of Dance Steps

The Slow Dance

The Slow Dance

My husband, Tom, and I will celebrate our 37th wedding anniversary in March, 2016.  This milestone has prompted us to realize our marriage could be compared to a series of dance steps.  We have had fun and many laughs as we discussed the different dance steps representing the seasons of our relationship.  Actually, some of those dance moves or seasons have not been much fun.  The lessons we learned have made our marriage stronger.

Like most couples we began with a slow dance.  We moved in harmony as we held each other close.  Being in each others arms felt safe and inviting.  I imagine it was a sweet sight for our family, friends and others observing us.  But, just like on the dance floor, the music came to an end and the slow dance was over.  At least for a time.


Then there was the Waltz season.  The technique of “rise and fall” is unique to the Waltz.  The couple moves onto the toes, then relaxes the knee and ankle which ends on a flat foot.  The dancers appear to glide effortlessly across the dance floor.  There is an up and down appearance.   We may look “smooth” to outsiders but we feel the tension when we Waltz.  Boy, is this a difficult season.

Milongueando con Natalia Fong en la Juan RulfoThe Tango

Tom thinks the Tango is the most uncomfortable season.  He says this is when we are tugging and pulling on each other.  The emotions of this dance season can last a long time if we are not careful.  We probably were in this season the longest after a long deployment required by Tom’s Navy career.  Technology was not as available for communication at that time.  We had to rely on snail mail and phone calls.  Spending nine months apart with only one phone call was challenging.  Keeping up with tracking answered letter was impossible for me.  I never figured a way to connect my letters with his return letters.  Then we had a full year separation while he was stationed in Greece and I remained in Virginia.  We did have phone calls but the distance and lack of intimate time took a toll on our relationship.


Break Dancing

Brake Dancing

Tom and I describe Brake Dancing as a time when one or both are off by ourselves spinning and going nowhere.  Have you had those time in your marriage when you just don’t want to be with that other person at the moment?  We have had the most fun with this one as we have moved forward.  A week or so ago Tom was in another room and misunderstood, or misheard, what I asked.  After a couple of minutes, he peeked around the corner to ask if we could go back to the Slow Dance because he did not want to Break Dance.  Since using the dance references we have laughed together at situations that could have resulted in one or both going off to spin.

Our marriage is stronger today than it has ever been.  Laughing together is one thing that strengthens our relationship.

We will return to the Slow Dance always if we allow God to provide the music.

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